You Can't Have It All
by MissJulia
Summary: Sequel to "Starcrossed Lovers" Lil faces the challenges of being a pregnant teenager.
1. Flashbacks

**You Can't Have It All**

sequel to "Starcrossed Lovers"

**Chapter 1: Flashbacks**

Lil just thought about what she had said to her mother. Was this a mistake? Was she dreaming?

Flashbacks kept playing in her mind. Everything was a mess now.

"Lillian Deville, I love you so much. You mean everything to me and I can't stop thinking of you." Tommy finally spit out.  
"Good." said Lil in shock.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" answered Tommy.  
"Now it's my turn." Said Lil. "I love you too Tommy. You are the world to me. I miss you everyday"

"Tommy, I think I'm ready." said Lil.  
"What's that babe?" asked Tommy.  
"I'm ready to lose it with you." Said Lil in amazement.

"Lil, I never felt like this in my life", said Tommy. "I love you very much."

"I never felt like this either." replied Lil. "I Love you too."

"When do you think we'll see eachother again?" aksed Lil.

"Probablly at Kimmy's party in a couple months." replied Tommy in a sad voice.

"I don't think I can survive not seeing you for that long."

Hi, are you okay?" said a girl.

Lil looked up and said "Not really."

"I'm Jessica Smith." said the girl. She didn't look like the rest of the girls at her school. She wor the same kind oc clothes as Lil and was nice.

"Okay then." said Lil. "I slept with the guy I love and now I missed my period."

"Oh my god." said Jessica. "Didn't you use protection?"

"No, he for got to bring condoms. I told him to pull out, but I guess that didn't work."

"Does the guy go here?" asked Jessica.

"Why don't you come to my house with me after school and you can take a pregnancy test." said Jessica. "That way if you're not pregnant, your mom never has to find out."

"Okay, I'll meet you outside in the front of the school." said Lil. "Thanks Jessica."

"So.." said Lil.

"Look yourself." said Jessica.

Lil looked and it was blue. She started to cry really hard.

"My life is over Jessica." Lil said between sobs.

"No it isn't." said Jessica. "You can hide it from your mom until you have a plan. But you should tell her in a few months, but you should tell your boyfriend."

"I just made the biggest mistake of my life." sobbed Lil, as she showed Ms. Smith her pregnancy test.

"Aww honey, what happend?" asked Ms Smith.

"Don't worry honey, you'll make it through this." said Ms Smith. "I know I did."

"Thanks." said Lil. "You guys have alredy helped me a lot."

"Stayt strong" said Jessica. "I'll be online all night if you need me. If not, call us. We'll try to help."

"Hi baby, whats up?" said Tommy.

"Tommy, I"m pregnant." said Lil.

"Oh my god. Are you fucking serious?" said Tommy in shock.

"Yes." said Lil. "I took a test at my friend Jessica's house today."

"What the hell are we supposed to tell our parents?" yelled Tommy. "We're going to get in so much trouble!"

"Oh my god Tommy, I thought you'd be the one who would understand." said Lil in a shaky voice. She felt like she was going to cry.

"Know what Lil..maybe we should of never snuck around. Maybe we should of never slept with eachother. I think this was a huge mistake." said Tommy.

"What's wrong? said Jessica, who could tell Lil had been crying.

"I told my boyfriend to call me." said Lil, who was about to cry again. "And i told him what happened."

"So what did he say and how did he take it?" asked Jessica.

"He only cared about what our families would think and he was yelling at me" said Lil, while she was sobbing "Then he told me to go talk to you guys because you'll understand more. And he said that sneaking around and doing me was a huge mistake. then when I told him, I still loved him a lot, he said he doesn't know if he still loves me."

"Jessica, I'm coming to your house. My parents are fighting again and I can't take it at all." said Lil.

"Okay Lil." said Jessica. "I'll tell my mom. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine. I can't stay at my ouse though." answered Lil.

Lil arrived at Jessica's house. Jessica and Ms Smith gave her a hug, then showed her were she could sleep. Lil went to bed and Jessica came in.

"Lil..everything's gonna turn out to be okay in the end." said Jessica in a comferting voice. "Me and my mom will be here for you."

After a sleepless night, Lil rose out of her bed and got dressed. She ate breakfast with Jessica and her mom. Then Lil's phone rang. It was Betty. She was angry.

"Lil, what got into you. you scared me to death. I had no idea where you were. Seriously, what got into you?" yelled Betty.

"Mom..I'm pregnant." said Lil, with her whole body shaking.

Lil sat there in silence as her mother yelled at her. She was regretting telling her that she was going to have a baby.

Was Betty going to make her have an abortion? Was she ever going to talk to Tommy again? What if she was going to be alone forever?

Lil heard her mom yell "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHAT DID YOU DO!? WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO MY ADVICE? WHO'S BABY IS IT?"

Lil couldn't speak. She was too scared to face the truth. All she could say was "um" and "uh". She knew those kinds of answers wouldn't make her mother happy,

so she caught her breath and finally answered.

She took a deep breath and said to her mom "Don't be mad at me mom, please don't be, but its Tommy's baby. We've been sneaking around. Anyways why are you

so against Tommy? It was his parents that ruined the friendship, not him or me or Phil or Dil. Anyways we broke up now and my life is ruined. He doesn't understand me."

Her mother sighed loudly. She replied "Honey, you made a mistake but still it was dumb of you to have sex without protection. And anyways, why Tommy? Children

take after their parents usually."

Lil was furious. "Mom, you act like you chose who you love. You don't. Anyways i thought Tommy was different. Couldn't you support me and have my back for once."

Betty quickly responded "I have to go, your father is being stupid again. Love you honey. Talk to you later."

Lil responded "So you know i'm staying here with Jessica and Mrs Smith. I don't want to be around you."

Betty had already hung up, but Lil said it anyways. She was angry with her mom for not trying to understand how she felt.


	2. The Truth

Sorry, this is LONG overdue. I've been busy for a long time, and now I'm ready to continue writing this story.

* * *

Chapter 2: Reactions

To her surprise, Betty's reaction was much calmer than what Lil had played out in her head.

"You're what!?" screamed Betty

"I'm pregnant mom, I'm so sorry" Lil said through her tears.

"I heard you the first time. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I told you it was a mistake. Why can't you ever listen to me?"

Lil sat there with Jessica and Ms. Smith as Betty screamed into the phone angrily. Lil was trying so hard to break down.

"Because you're an ungrateful child to me. Why can't you be like your brother?"

"He just hides everything from you. He was out smoking weed with his jock friends or something. He's no saint."

Lil started to cry uncontrollably. She hung up her phone on her mother. She couldn't take this anymore. She needed to get out of had to talk to Tommy, no matter how mad he was.

"Lil, you can stay here as long as you want" Ms. Smith said invitingly. "I'm sorry your mother doesn't understand what you're going through."

"I need Tommy." Lil couldn't say anything else. She was so confused and upset.

"Why don't you go lay down in the guest room honey." Ms. Smith was so caring and loving compared to Lil's mother. She often times wished she had the relationship with Betty that Jessica had with her mom.

* * *

Lil went upstairs and laid down. So many thoughts were running through her mind.

I need Tommy, more than anything right now. I really love him and I wish he wasn't mad at me. He's really one of the only people that understands who I am. I don't want to tell Kimi yet or the rest of my friends for that matter. Tommy's the most important person in my life and I don't want him gone forever, especially since that it's his child. I never meant for this to happen. I shouldn't have gotten so caught up in the moment. I'm so stupid for letting myself sleep with him without a condom or any protection. I'll blame myself forever for that night, even though I know I'll love my baby. I guess maybe I should try texting Tommy or seeing if he's on instant messaging.

Lil signed onto her instant messaging on her phone. No sign of Tommy, but Kimi was on. Lil tried to ignore her, but it was too late.

JapanChick: Hey Lil, where have you been? I've tried calling you but you didn't answer. I miss talking to you.

BabyGrl1600: Can't talk right now Kimi, on my phone and it's almost dead

I have to stop this lying thing. It can't be good for me.

JapanChick: Well talk to you later i guess. Call me later or something.

I don't want to slip up and tell Kimi yet. She'll be so mad at me.

BabyGrl1600: Okay, I'll try.

Lil quickly signed off her IM before any of her other friends from her old town signed on. She had no desire whatsoever to talk to them.

I still I have to get a hold of Tommy. I miss him and need him more than ever.

She grabbed her phone and started thinking of something to say. It took her a while, but she managed to text something. It was better than nothing.

Tommy, listen I know you're mad at me, but can you please respond to me. It's important to me. I miss talking to you and I love you so much. You're the father of my child no matter what. Please Tommy, just talk to me. Please, I'm begging you.

Damn, I sound desperate, but I guess that's because I kind of am.I just hope he replies to that.

Five minutes later, Lil felt her phone vibrate in her hand. She picked it up

Who is this????

What? What does that mean?

What do you mean Tommy? You know who this is.

Lil was very nervous and scared. What if it was Didi? Then she really would be screwed.

Umm this isn't Tommy. This is his girlfriend.

A tear ran down her face. How could he do this to her? She thought he loved her, but she guessed she was wrong now.

Oh, well where is he?

He's sleeping right now. I'll tell him you texted.

Lil started crying harder than ever before. She can't believe that Tommy would betray her like that, especially after they made love and she was now carrying his baby. An abortion would be against every one of her morals. She knew she couldn't put her unborn child up for adoption; that would be way too hurtful for her. On top of it, Tommy's new girlfriend knew everything about their relationship problems. how she felt and the pregnancy. She just hoped she didn't know his girlfriend personally. Maybe she would call Kimi; she usually could help Lil no matter what. Maybe she would know who Tommy was dating.

* * *

Lil called Kimi and told her the entire situation. How they confessed their love for each other and hooked up at Kimi's party; the reason why he didn't come to the school dance, the entire plan and why she ended up pregnant.

Lil told her best friend, "Now Tommy's mad at me, and I found out he has a new girlfriend today."

"I'm so sorry Lil, I had no idea what was going on between you two. Tommy has been distant from us since you moved away. We hardly see him anymore, except at school. Even there he hardly speaks to us. Chuckie and I feel extremely bad that we've lost one of our best friends and I thought I was going to lose you as a friend too. I'm so glad you called Lil."

"Thank you Kimi. I feel a little better now that I'm talking to you. Do you have any idea who Tommy's girlfriend is?"

"No. I don't. Chuckie might know. Hold on and I'll go ask him."

Kimi set down the phone on her bed and Lil sat there quietly, thinking as usual.

At least she seems understanding about the whole situation. I thought she would overreact, like my mother did.

Kimi came back on the line a couple minutes later

"I asked him and he said it's one of Angelica's friends. I honestly had no idea that he would go for an older girl."

"I can't believe that either. Do you think it could be just a front to hide our relationship from his parents?"

"It could be, and I hope for your sake that it is."

Lil and Kimi talked for hours, just like old times. Both of them missed doing this. After all they were best friends.

"Lil, I'm going to come up there to visit you next weekend."

"Well okay, but I don't know if I'll be home. I might stay at my friend Jessica's house until my mom calms down."

"Maybe I can come visit you there, if her parents don't mind my presence."

"It's just her and her mom, but I don't think it would be a problem, so just call me to see where I'm staying."

"I'll call you every day and check up on you Lil. I promise you'll survive this, and I have your back."

"Thank you so much Kimi. I appreciate that. Just don't tell anyone else."

"You're secret's safe with me."

The moment Lil hung up, she received a text message from Tommy.

Lil, Sorry for everything. I'll talk to you some other time.

Lil didn't know how to react, so she just closed her eyes and fell asleep, hoping that she would feel better tomorrow.


	3. Avoidance

**A/N-Anything in italics from now on is Lil's thoughts. Hope you enjoy.**

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* * *

**

Lil woke up, realizing it was only 3 in the morning, feeling suddenly ill.

"Great," she mumbled to herself, "here comes the morning sickness already."

Lil honestly didn't know how far along in the pregnancy she was. Without her mother's support, it would be next to impossible and very expensive to go to a doctor for help. She could go to Planned Parenthood, but she didn't know if she felt comfortable. Though she knew it wasn't in her health's or the baby's health's interest, she figured she'd hold off from going to the doctors as long as possible; or maybe just wait until Ms. Smith suggested something. After all, Ms. Smith had proven to be a better mother in the past 3 days than Lil could ever remember her own mother being.

Lil felt herself getting more nauseous by the minute. She began to gag and quickly ran to the bathroom. Jessica must had heard Lil running and was standing outside the door while she exited.

"You know you can't hold back from going to the doctor. It's important you go see one." said Jessica.

_There goes my idea already_

"Yeah, but I really can't go to one without my mom's approval because of the insurance issues" argued Lil.

"I'm sure my mom can help, now go back to bed and rest, you've had a rough week."

_Why does she have to be such a good friend, I much rather have done this on my own. Kimi would have let me made my own decisions. I guess I should be grateful that someone cares about me so much during such a rough time in my life, let alone two. _

Lil walked slowly back to the Smiths's guest room, still not feeling the greatest. She laid down and tried to fall asleep. Before she knew, it was 5 A.M. and she hadn't gone back to sleep. She had too many thoughts on her mind and she needed to figure them out. She left her phone off since Tommy sent her that final text message;she was hesitant and anxious to check it again. The truth of the matter was Lil was terrified to know the truth. The truth about how Tommy really felt. The truth that she may be raising this baby on her own. The truth that she had wasted her feelings on Tommy. She just laid there in her agony and grief for hours and hours, before Ms. Smith came in her room to check on her. Lil pretended to be asleep to avoid confrontation with one of her only friend's mothers.

* * *

Lil had no intentions of going to school that day, but she wanted to avoid Jessica and Ms. Smith, so she left the house quietly before anyone knew. She would love to go back to her old neighborhood, but that was out of the question since all of her friends were at school. Plus, she didn't want to be seen my Didi or Stu in case they were to start any drama. She had no idea what Tommy had told his parents or anyone else back there. She could sneak to her house to get some items, but there was a risk her mom or grandma would be there. Lil needed to think of somewhere to go quick, before anyone she knew saw her.

_Maybe I'll go to the drugstore to get another pregnancy test or two. Maybe I had a false positive._

Lil was exhausted and decided to take the bus to a drugstore across town. She figured it would be far enough away for anyone she knew.

_Shit, I have no money to pay for another pregnancy test. I left my debit card at my home home. _

Lil got off at the drugstore anyways and went to the feminine needs aisle and discreetly shoved a package of two pregnancy tests in her backpack, hoping no one would notice and went to the drugstore bathroom_. _Lil again used both of the tests to see if she was really having a baby at sixteen. She stood there leaning against the wall thinking about how many mistakes she had made these past few weeks. Again, fifteen minutes seemed like an eternity to her but five minutes into the waiting period, Lil heard a knock on the bathroom door.

_Should I ignore the knock or just reply? _

Lil told the woman she'd be a few minutes, and spent another ten minutes, angry at herself. After the ten minutes were up, Lil's stomach sank when both tests came back positive. She quickly opened the door, forgetting to throw away the packaging of the pregnancy tests away and that there was someone else in line to use the restrooms. She realized the other woman was a drugstore worker in her mid-50s and saw the empty packaging on the edge of the white sink.

"Did you use these without paying for them, young lady?" said the employee sternly.

"Yes I did.", replied Lil nervously."I don't have any money and I needed to because -"

"I don't care if you have any money or not, it's against the law, and why aren't you in school? I have every right to call the cops or your parents."

A single tear rolled down Lil's cheek as the lady said that. Suddenly, a boy around Lil's age intervened into the lady's scolding.

"Hey Margret, lay off of her. She's just a kid."

_Yeah, I wish I still was just a kid_.

"But-"

"Margret , calm down, she's poor and whatever she stole must have been important. This girl looks like she doesn't mean any harm"

Margret shrugged and left the boy and Lil alone towards the back of the store.

"I'm Seth by the way. I'm sorry she treated you like that. Margret can be a little harsh."

"Hi, I'm Lil and it's my fault anyways, I'm dumb for stealing. I've never done that before, but I guess I've been doing a lot that I never thought I'd do since I've moved to this town."

"No need to explain. Everyone makes mistakes"

_Some more than others_.

"Thanks for being so understanding."

"No problem. Hey, I have to get back to work but I get out at 4:30 today. Why don't you call me? You seem pretty cool."

"Sure. I'll put your number in my phone."

Lil had butterflies in her stomach. She wasn't sure if she was more nervous about the instant crush she had on Seth or if he knew about her pregnancy. When Lil reached for her phone in her side backpack pocket, she realized she never turned on her phone that day. There were 22 new texts and 4 missed calls. None mattered at that moment because she knew who they were all from. Lil put Seth's number in her phone and vice versa, before Lil left the store for a nearby coffee shop.


End file.
